Sea of Glass
by iwomans-sister
Summary: In an accident with Chrysalis, Darien becomes Paralyzed and must learn to either find his way or give up trying. What can I say, it was 1:30 in the morning and I felt the need to torture Darien. >;) *WIP*
1. Chapter One

Title: Sea of Glass

Author: iwomans_sister

Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda... You know how it goes. I don't own em. Please don't sue.

Spoilers: WAY too many to count! Basically, almost every eppy.

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG-13

Authors Note: It's 1:30 am. I couldn't sleep and I saw my computer on and couldn't resist the urge to torture Darien. What can I say, I have to vent my anger in one way or another. :)

*A special thank you to my magnificent Beta Reader, liz_Z! Without her my fics are nothing!*

~*~

Sea of Glass 1/?

Darien turned another corner, then another. Everywhere he went was just another dead end or another corner leading to a previous one he'd already taken. He was lost. He was stuck. He was stranded. He couldn't remember how he had gotten here, and because he couldn't remember how he had gotten here he didn't know how to get out.

The room started spinning around him, making him dizzy and confused. For a brief moment he thought he'd forgotten where he was; then he remembered he hadn't known in the first place. He couldn't remember how long he'd been here. Minutes? Hours? Days? He couldn't remember anything before being here. Thinking hard he tried to remember something, anything.

Kevin. He remembered seeing Kevin here. Somewhere, though he couldn't remember where, or when, for that matter. But he knew that his brother had been there. Maybe was still here. "Kev? It's me, Darien. I want out now!" Maybe it was one of Kevin's weird experiments. Yes, that's what it was. His brother was just studying something. Something about Darien.

A sharp pain raged inside of him. His brother was using him as a human guinea pig. "Kevin, I know you can hear me. Where are you?" He was greeted with nothing but silence. Maybe it wasn't an experiment after all? Surely Kevin would have let him out of this dark prison of nothingness by now. Where was he? Where was his brother?

"Darien?"

He turned, glancing from right to left. Where had the voice come from? Darien took a left turn around another corner. It was one big maze leading to nowhere.

"Darien?" 

His head snapped backwards and he turned back around the way he had just come.

"Darien?"

No one was there. But surely that was the direction the voice had come from. He heard it. He hadn't imagined it, had he? His mind could have been playing tricks on him. Yes, that's what it was. No one was around and his mind was giving him something to do while he tried to stay sane. But if that was the case, he wasn't staying sane. He was hearing voices.

"Darien?"

"What do you want?" He asked, hoping it would answer back. It was the only thing he could think of doing at the time. Answering back to the obscure person the voice was coming from. Maybe the person had a gland? No, that wasn't possible. Unless his was missing. Darien quickly felt the back of his head with his hand, letting out a sigh of relief to notice that no hair was missing and the old scar was just that. Old.

"Darien?"

"I asked you, what do you want?"

This time the voice answered back, to Darien's surprise. "For you to fight."

"Fight what?"

"Fight."

Darien dropped to his knees in despair. He was getting nowhere fast. In fact, almost nowhere at all. Who was calling his name? And whoever it was, why were they doing this to him? He felt alone and stranded. Helpless.

"Darien?"

Darien let the tears fall as the mysterious voice continued to call his name. Taunting him. Testing him. For what? He didn't know what he was supposed to fight for, but it didn't matter. Whatever it was, he wasn't strong enough to fight for it anyway.

"Stand up, Darien."

His head snapped up and he looked at the man in front of him. Darien couldn't see the man's face because of the lighting. It was dreadfully dark in the room, and even though his eyes had long since adjusted, he couldn't seem to make out the features of the mans face.

"I said stand up!" The mans voice boomed with veiled authority and Darien recognized not only the tone, but the voice itself.

"Kevin!" He yelled, standing to his feet. He wanted to grab his brother in a hug, pretend that he had never died. Pretend that he was real. But this was a dream. It had to be. He looked at his brothers face, but saw... Nothing. He was greeted by cruel nothingness. It was his brother's voice, but that was all. "Kevin,

what..."

"Darien, I came to talk to you. I need you to fight."

"Fight what, Kevin?"

Suddenly his brother was no longer his brother. Almost as fast as his brother had appeared he was gone. Darien jumped backwards as horror filled him.

"What's the matter, Darien?" Came the voice of his brother. But he was no longer faceless. He was Arnaud. Arnaud with Kevin's voice. "Darien, you don't look so good... Maybe I should..."

"No! I'm okay. What... What happened to you?"

"What do you think happened, Fawkes?"

Darien was startled yet once again. This time the voice wasn't his brother's. It matched the face. It was his mortal enemy. "What do you want, Arnaud?"

"To see you suffer."

"Haven't I suffered enough?"

Arnaud waited to reply, as if he was musing over the answer. "Probably. But I do enjoy a good show."

"Oh, is that what all this is? A show? You killed my brother just for a show!?!"

"Now, now, Fawkes. Don't get snippy with me. I have the power to make your life a living hell."

"You've already done that, Arnaud!" Darien retorted.

"Yes, and while that may be true, I have the power to make it even more so." He replied, his Swiss-French accent thick.

"Do you just take pleasure in watching people suffer or something?"

"Something like that, yes."

Darien couldn't take it anymore. He reached for Arnaud throat and starting choking him, but yelped in surprise as the face changed to Claire. Immediately he let go. "Claire, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He said, looking down at the ground.

A maniacal laugh greeted him and he looked back up to see that the person in front of him was now Hobbes.

"What's so funny?" He dared to ask.

"You are, my friend." He broke out in insane laughter again. "You should have seen your face when you thought I was Claire. It was priceless."

"Who are you?" Darien asked, flat out to the point.

"Nothing and no one. And yet, still everyone." Hobbes turned into Allianora and continued speaking. "I can be anyone I want to be, but at the same time not be anyone at all." Then Allianora turned into Darien's father, Mason Fawkes. Then his mother, Sarah, then 

of all people Jared Stark. And the laughing continued.

Darien knew he was going insane. There was no other reasoning, no other explanation. He was going insane. He wondered what color his eyes would be if he looked into a mirror. "What do you want from me?" He asked, almost begging for an answer.

"I already told you... I want you to fight!"

"FIGHT WHAT!?!" Darien yelled to the person who was now Casey O'Claire. Then Kate Easton, then Father Tom. This thing in front of him, whatever it was, was good at making him extremely pissed off.

It turned back into Kevin, "You'll understand." With that said it vanished. Leaving him alone in his own little hell again. But this time complete darkness surrounded him, nothing but blackness. And once again, nothingness. And then from somewhere he saw light. A small sliver of light among the darkness that engulfed him. Where was it coming from? He had no idea. But as the seconds passed it was getting brighter... Until... Until he opened up his eyes.

TBC?


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer and such in chapter one.

Sea of Glass 2/?

Darien wanted to ask where he was, but something was stopping him. There was something in his mouth. A tube. He could feel it tickling his throat. By instinct he tried to move his hand to pull it out. But his hand was dead weight. He couldn't feel it at all, he couldn't move it. In fact, he realized, he couldn't feel anything below his head. What was wrong with him? He heard a voice. Hobbes.

"He's awake! Claire, look! He's awake!"

Darien heard a chair move from the left corner of the room -which he guessed was the Keep- and tried to turned his head but found he didn't have enough strength. Claire appeared in his line of sight.

"Darien, I am going to take this tube out, okay?"

He tried nodding his head, but wasn't sure if it had even moved at all. It must have, because Claire reached toward the tube.

"Now, I want you to breath deeply."

He did, and he felt the tube being removed from his throat as it tickled its way out. Immediately he started coughing, gasping for air.

"It's a normal reaction." Claire said to him in a reassuring tone.

Darien noticed movement from the left side of the room and then saw Hobbes, now also in his line of sight. He tried to talk but nothing came out.

"Darien, don't try to speak. You need to give it time."

Darien nodded his head again.

"How you feeling, buddy?" Hobbes asked, and in return Claire shot him a fiery glance.

Like crap', Darien thought.

"Darien," Claire said, making it sound more like Dar-e-un', "I need you to do something for me, okay?

Blink twice for yes and once for no. You understand?"

He blinked twice.

"Good. Now, can you please move your legs?" Claire watched as nothing happened. "Are you moving them?"

He blinked twice.

"Okay, what about your hands?" She said, noting Hobbes' concerned stare. Nothing happened again. "What about your fingers?" Still nothing. It was just what she had thought. The bullet had hit his spinal cord. At first she had hoped that the non-responsive actions were due to swelling around the spinal cord, or maybe even spinal shock, which of course as procedure she had treated him for, But now she confirmed the worst. Darien was paralyzed, from the neck down.

"Are you thirsty?" She asked.

He blinked once.

Claire was shocked. He should've been thirsty. "Well, I'm going to get you something to drink anyway." She walked out of his line of sight again, then came back with a small cup that had a straw in it. "Drink up." 

Claire placed the straw to Darien's lips and he gratefully drank, realizing that he was thirsty after all.

"Enough?" Claire asked.

He blinked twice.

"Darien," Claire said, sounding as if she was struggling with something. "Do you remember what happened?"

He thought about it for a moment, but everything seemed foggy. He blinked once.

Hobbes was the one to speak up. "Six days ago you and I went on a mission. The info I received from one of my informants ended up being a trap. Chrysalis was waiting for us. We had a shoot-out and you ended up getting caught in the crossfire." Hobbes said, feeling as guilty as hell.

"The bullet was lodged between the first and second vertebrae. I was lucky to even get it out at all..." She paused and then said, "You're paralyzed, Darien."

He wanted to cry out, wanted to scream... Wanted to throw something. But there was nothing he could do. He was paralyzed. That explained why he couldn't move. This had to be a dream. All of it, all of it was a dream. A nightmare. "How bad?" He mouthed.

"Pretty bad, Darien. From the neck down."

A tear rolled down Darien cheek and he felt Claire wipe it away with a tissue a moment later.

"I'm sorry, Darien."

"Not your fault." He mouthed. Then he tilted his head to the right, ever so slightly and looked his partner in the eyes. "Not your fault either."

"Fawkes..." Hobbes began, looking at the floor in shame. "I should've known... I should've done something..." He glanced back up and saw the look on Darien's face. "I'm sorry." He could feel the beginning of tears stinging his eyes. Without saying anything, Hobbes left the room.

"I'll be right back," Claire said, taking off out the door in search of Hobbes.

Darien's eyes felt heavy. He wasn't just physically drained, he was emotionally exhausted too. There was nothing more he'd like to do than close his eyes and sleep for a few days. Hell, a few weeks would be more like it. He could hear Claire and Hobbes arguing in the hall. It sounded like she was telling him it wasn't his fault. And in all truth it wasn't.

Darien remembered going into the building. He had made the choice even after Hobbes had said it didn't feel right. And by making the choice to go in, Hobbes went in also. Truth be told, if Hobbes had been the one that had been shot Darien knew it would have been himself to blame. And, if Hobbes had been the one who was now paralyzed... He didn't even want to think about. The guilt he'd have had to live with.

Darien knew Hobbes was blaming himself, it was obvious. He wondered if there was anything he could do to ease his partner's pain. Yeah, walk again.' he thought. But he knew he wouldn't be doing that any time soon. In fact, not at all. Not if it really was as bad as Claire had said it was, and he had no reason to doubt her. The doors whooshed open and Claire walked in. Alone.

"Darien, try to get some sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours and we can talk. By then your voice should be back, okay?"

He closed his eyes in response and let the dreams take back over. 

TBC


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer and other things you need to know so I won't get into any trouble are in chapter one.

Sea of Glass 3/?

Unlike the last room, this one was bright. So bright he had to close his eyes. It reminded him of something. Yes, that's right. The padded cell. Or as he preferred, the padded hell. That's what it was, right? His own little hell? In the padded hell there was no relaxation. Only torment.

So what was he doing here? Why was he here? He looked around the room, squinting from the brightness of it all. Something was missing. The mirror. There was nothing but white. No breaks in the whiteness. It looked like a room covered in snow, and it was cold. But in a different way. It was cold because there was no life. Nothing but him. It was cold because it was cruel and inhuman.

Why was he here? First the room of darkness and now the one of light... What was going on? Surely a way out? There was always a way out. But he couldn't even tell where the walls were. Darien walked, in what he presumed was a straight line, until he hit something. A wall. _Okay, I'll just follow it.'_ he thought. _Maybe it will lead me to the door.'_

He continued to walk along the wall, his right hand placed on it so he could feel for a gap, a hole somewhere or some other opening that might prove to be a way out. He began to get discouraged when he couldn't find one.

"There isn't any way out, Darien."

He turned around at the voice, and for a moment joy filled him, but then he remembered that it wasn't who he thought it was. "What do you want this time?" Adam Reese stood smiling at Darien. He looked a little older. A little... Different. Then he changed again, this time into Jessica Semplar. "Okay, that's it. Would you stop doing that? It's freaky."

"What's the matter, Ralph? You don't like the past?"

"You know, I heard that quote a long time ago about the past coming back to haunt you. But this, this is overkill." And then it changed again. This time to Simon Cole. Darien sighed in frustration. "Enough with the games. What do you want?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Yes, I know, to fight. Fight what?"

"All of it." Replied Alexandria Monroe.

There had to be something Darien was missing. "You know, I'm paralyzed. The Keeper told me."

"I know." Alex said.

Darien thought for a moment; in here he was walking and talking. Everything was fine. He quicksilvered. Or at least thought he did. Nothing happened. Everything was still white, with the exception of Alex, and he could see himself when he pulled up his hand.

"It doesn't work in here." Claire said.

"Why not?"

"Because, this is a dream. And you're normal again."

"Why?" Darien asked.

"Don't you want to be normal, Darien?" He blinked, not answering her. "Darien? Darien, I'm talking to you..."

His eyes snapped open and he saw Claire standing above him.

"Ah, welcome back." She said.

"Where," His throat felt dry and itchy. "Where am I?"

"You're still in the Keep." She paused for a second then asked, "Would you like some water?"

"Please." Claire complied. She reached over for the cup and put the straw to his lips. "Thank you." He said when he was done drinking.

She nodded. "So, you are able to talk at least. That confirms that nothing grazed your voice box."

"That bad, huh?" Darien asked sarcastically.

Claire couldn't help but smile. Then she turned serious. "Darien, you're lucky. I know you don't believe me, but you are. If the bullet had gone a little to the left you'd be dead."

"Where's Hobbes?"

"He had some things to take care of. He'll be back in a little while."

"Claire..." Darien started, unsure of how to ask. "How about the gland?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me? I've been waiting to run the tests I wanted to. I took a CT Scan and it looked fine. How about you quicksilver for me?"

Darien had a good idea that the gland wasn't going to work, but he proved himself right when he tried and all he got was a look of shock from Claire. "So, what does this mean?"

"Well, it could mean a number of things. For one, when you were shot the gland could have had a malfunction in the cerebral cortex..."

"Claire," Darien said, cutting her off. "English please."

"Oh, right." She said with a slight blush. "Even though the bullet didn't hit the gland, it could have had some kind of effect on it. We already knew from past experience that the gland had expanded to the pineal gland, which was causing the dreams..."

"Wait," Darien said. "The dreams? How'd you..."

"The incident with Simon Cole." Claire said, giving Darien a look of bewilderment. "Darien, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Umm, nope. Notta thing."

Claire gave him a questioning look, but continued. "My guess would be that maybe the gland had expanded and when the bullet passed through the first and second vertebrae it hit a strand of the gland, severing that piece."

"Meaning?" Darien asked.

"Meaning that it might be in shock. And if that's the case it should wear off. Though," Claire said, chewing on the bottom of her lip. "I don't know when. It's been six days, I would think that if it was going to, it would have by now."

Darien sighed. "So in other words, I'm screwed."

"There has to be something, Darien. You just need to give me time to find it." Claire said in defense. "You know," she said, changing the subject. "I don't think you'll hear this unless I tell you, but Bobby saved your life."

"He did?" Darien asked.

"Want to hear the story?" She asked.

He nodded.

TBC

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. I spent the week getting ready for my brother's wedding and then during the weekend there was the rehersal and the wedding itself. Yep, that's the second brother this year. Now that all my brothers are married, I think I need a new excuse. Ah, I'm not worried, I still have three sisters. ;) Next part before the weekend. I hope.

Naomi M.


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer and everything that keeps me from getting into trouble in chapter one. Hope anyone reading this is liking it so far.

Sea of Glass 4/?

Darien heard the Keep door open and someone walk in. "Claire, Chief's looking for you." Hobbes said.

Claire looked down at Darien and smiled. "I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

Darien gave her a fake smile. "Can't wait." he said as he turned his head to watch her walk away. 

Hobbes pulled up a chair beside Darien, sitting in silence. After a few moments he finally spoke. "Fawkes... this is all my fault. I should have never..."

"Hobbes," Darien said, cutting his best friend off. "It was my' fault and you know it."

"Darien..." Hobbes started, using his partner's first name, which he had only done on very few occasions. "I shouldn't have let you go in there. My gut told me something was wrong, but I let you do it anyway. If I had stood my ground none of this would have happened."

"You of all people should know how stubborn I am. I would have gone in there no matter what. I was just lucky that you were there." Hobbes gave Darien a questioning look. "Yes, Claire told me what you did. You never even thought about telling me you were shot trying to get me out."

Hobbes looked a little embarrassed. "It was just a scratch."

"Ten stitches is just a scratch?" Darien asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Hobbes felt guilty talking about a soon to be scar when his friend could never walk again.The wound for him would heal, but Darien would be paralyzed forever. Hobbes would always have a reminder of what had happened that day, but his reminder was nothing like his partners. There would be days in Hobbes' life where he'd forget he even had the scar, but Darien would never forget he couldn't walk.

"Now, c'mon buddy, don't you think you're being a little too modest?"

Hobbes stood up from his chair. "I need to get some air, I'll be back in a little while."

Before Darien could say anything in protest Hobbes was already gone.

~*~

Hobbes walked into the parking lot of the Harding Building. The air felt good in his lungs. It had been six days since the incident. Six very long days. He had spent all the time he could in the Keep, waiting for his partner to wake up. Between missions with Alex, briefings and debriefings... He had been at his partner's side. But now that Darien was awake Hobbes realized how helpless the situation really was, and how helpless he really felt.

Darien was paralyzed. Hobbes would get a new partner soon... And the Official would have the gland removed. Hobbes paused. The Official would have the gland removed. Is that why he wanted to see Claire? What would happen to Darien?' Hobbes asked himself silently. "Crap, this isn't good." He mumbled as he took off towards the Official's office.

~*~

"Claire, I called you here because we need to discus our options."

Claire had known that this moment would come, but she still dreaded it. She hadn't known when, but she did now, and she still had no idea what she was going to say. "Sir, I understand that the gland is important to you... But..."

"Wait, Doctor." The Official said, holding up his hand.

"But sir,"

"Claire. Let me speak." He waited until Claire sat back quietly, albeit looking like she was ready to yell and scream. "Now, the options I have tried to come up with don't seem reasonable. In the end, I decided there was only one thing we could do."

At that Claire jumped up, tears forming in her eyes. "Sir, Darien is a person too! He has a right to make a choice in this matter!"

"Claire!" The Official barked, standing up.

"Sir, I don't care how much you want the gland in someone where it will work and make money for your little pathetic ploy! It should be his choice to take it out or not!"

"And I agree wholeheartedly."

"How can you live with yourself knowing that you'd be taking his life..." Claire paused, looking at the Official with a questioning gaze. "What did you just say?"

"I said I agree." He motioned toward her chair. "Have a seat."

Claire sat back down and waited for him to speak.

"Now, as I was saying. After giving it a lot of thought I came to the conclusion that there is only one thing we can do..."

The Official's door opened and hit the wall, shattering the glass. "Now listen you fat bastard, there is no way you are pulling the gland out of Fawkes' head!"

Claire turned in her seat to see whom the perpetrator of the outburst had been. She saw Hobbes and immediately tried to calm him down. "Bobby, it's okay, the Official and I were just talking and..."

"It's okay? It's okay? What kind of asinine statement is that, Claire!?! Have you even thought about the fact that he's gonna kill our friend? I mean, he'd go as far as to let Fawkes go insane so he could have his control, why not kill Fawkes too!"

The Official spoke up, disregarding the comments him employee had just made.

"Hobbes, calm down."

"No, you calm down! You can't just kill him because now that he's paralyzed he's an inconvenience to you!"

"Hobbes!" The Official yelled. "I'm not killing Darien! I'm not even forcing Claire to take the gland out!" The Official had started this conversation in a decent mood, but he could only take so much. " I'm giving Darien a choice, and if he decides he wants her to take it out that is up to him. But I'm leaving my hands out of it."

At first Hobbes looked a little shocked, but his face quickly changed back to his previous expression. "Yeah, and why would you do that? What's in it for you? It's obviously not Darien, you tried to hide that Claire had the suicide gene."

"Driving someone insane and taking their life are two different things. And besides, I had faith that the good Doctor here would have perfected the counteragent in time."

"That is all this is ever about to you. Control. I want to know what you are getting out of letting Darien make the choice and not you demanding it? What's your angle?"

"There is none, Hobbes. Believe it or not, I actually care about my agents. They're like family to me."

"Yeah well, you have some very dysfunctional ways of treating your family' as you so vividly put it."

"Now," The Official stated, "Claire, you know what to do. This meeting is over." He dismissed the two with a wave of his hand and started to read from a folder on his desk.

Hobbes and Claire headed for the door and bumped into Eberts, who looked at the broken glass on the floor, then at the two, and then the Official. "W-what happened here?" He dared to ask.

"That's not important." The Official snarled, "Just take it out of Hobbes' check."

Eberts gave Hobbes an apologetic look then said, "Yes, sir."

TBC


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer and stuff are in chapter one. Also, I just gotta say, liz_Z you're the best! If you weren't Beta-ing my stuff, I'd have so many grammatical errors that no one would read it. *Hugs* Thanks, from the bottom of my heart. Now, on with the fic. I hope this chapter has enough torture for anyone reading. I'm trying my best.

~*~

Sea of Glass 5/?

Darien looked at the plain gray wall in front of him. He could name every detail about it. He had seen it enough to get the basics down whenever he was getting his counteragent shots, but now, now he had spent the better half of a day staring at it off and on. He heard the sound of the Keep door opening and waited to move his head until the person was in view. "How was the air?"

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"The air, how was it? You said you wanted to get some air and then you left."

Hobbes gave a weak smile. "Yeah, the air was fine."

"Better out there then it is in here I'm sure." Darien pointed out, noticing that something was wrong with his partner. He was acting strange, almost distant. As if he were in another world and Darien was just in his way. "Okay Hobbes, spill the beans. What's going on?"

"Hmm?" Hobbes asked, snapping out of his thoughts once again.

"Now I _know_' something's wrong. You just went off to Lalaland while I was in the middle of talking to you."

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"I couldn't tell." Darien wasn't sure if Hobbes had ignored him or just not heard him, because a minute later his partner still hadn't replied. "Hobbes? Earth to Hobbes? Snap out of it."

"You wanna go outside and get some fresh air?" Hobbes asked, looking around the Keep for something.

"What?"

"I asked if you wanted to..."

"I know what you asked, Hobbes. How the hell am I supposed to get outside? Did you forget that I can't walk?"

Hobbes turned around and walked out of Darien's eye shot. "Hobbes, I wasn't trying to get snippy with you, it's just that..." He said, thinking Hobbes was mad at him and decided to leave again. His partner came back before he could finish his sentence.

"Claire brought in this wheelchair. She thought that it'd be good for you to get out and see the sun before you started to look goth."

Shock registered on Darien's face, then he finally spoke. "No way, there's not a chance in hell that I am going outside. Not in a wheelchair."

"Fine then, I'll carry you."

"You'll what?"

"You heard me." Hobbes retorted.

"I don't think I did. It sounded like you said you'd carry me, and I know you didn't just say that."

"You said so yourself, it's stuffy in here. And fresh air will do you some good."

"No, I'm not going outside. Not like this." Darien replied, his voice cracking a little bit.

"I'm taking you outside," Hobbes bellowed, "and that's the end of the conversation!"

"No it's not. I don't want to go outside. I don't... I don't..."

"Don't what? Don't want people to see you like this? Well, sooner or later you have to except it. You're paralyzed, Darien, and nothing you do is gonna change that!"

"I know that!" Darien yelled back, trying to match his partner's tone. "You don't think I know that?"

"Then grow up! You can't hide in here forever!"

"No, I can't. But I can hide in here as long as I want! And right now I want to hide! You have a problem with that, Hobbes!?!"

The Keep door opened and Claire walked in, hearing the yelling match from outside. She was about to ask what was going on, but was stopped as she saw it for herself.

"As a matter a fact I do!" Hobbes said, pulling the wheelchair close to the counteragent chair.

"Hobbes, what are you doing?"

"Taking you outside." Hobbes reached underneath Darien and started to pick him up.

"Hobbes, please, I don't want to go out there." His voice rasped, and his eyes started to water as tears began to form. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."

Hobbes ignored him, and placed him in the wheelchair. He felt bad for what he was doing, but he knew it had to be done. He started to fix the legs of the wheelchair to support Darien's feet so they wouldn't drag on the ground.

"Bobby," Claire said, walking over to him. "What are you doing?"

"Taking my partner outside."

"Bobby, he doesn't want to go out there. Can't you wait until he is ready?"

"No."

"Please." This time it was Darien who spoke. 

Hobbes' only reply was the sound of the wheels of the chair as it started to roll out of the Keep. A tear dropped to the ground as the door opened and the chair rolled out into the hall being pushed by Hobbes.

TBC


	6. Chapter Six

You should know everything about the disclaimer and where it is by now. Also, I know this is taking me a while, but all I seem to find time for these days is sleeping, working and doing school. It's getting hard to sneak in time to write.

Sea of Glass 6/?

The Harding Building's front double doors opened and

the sunshine shone brightly upon Darien, making him want to cover his eyes, but without use of his hands, he settled for snapping them shut and turning his head to the side. After a few minutes Darien tried once again to open his eyes, and this time the sun's assault was not as painful.

For a moment he thought about asking Hobbes if he was happy. After all, he had gotten his way. He betrayed his best friend for what? To prove a point? _Maybe we're not as close as I thought we were?'_

Hobbes snapped him out of thoughts. "Darien, there's something I need to talk to you about." He waited, but there was no reply so he continued. "Claire and I decided that it would be best if I was the one to talk to you about this..." Still there was no reply from Darien. "I understand that you're mad at me, but life goes on."

"Life?" Darien snapped, "Yeah, that's rich! What life? Look at me, Hobbes! I can't do anything! I'm worthless! There's no point to _life_' anymore, much less a life itself!"

"Well," Hobbes said, "at least you're talking now." Darien gave him a death stare. "Anyway, I need to know what you want to do about the gland?"

"Oh, that's great! First you humiliate me and now you want to kill me!"

"Hey, you said it yourself, you don't have a life anymore!" Hobbes snapped back, his frustration starting to show. He couldn't take much more, Darien's mood swings were starting to drive him crazy. "Look, I'm sorry Darien, I'm not trying to be a insensitive bastard, so if I'm coming off that way you have to understand, I am only trying to do what's best for you."

"What's best for me?" Darien asked, blinking a few sporadic times. "What's best for me is that you leave me alone. All of you!"

"I'm sorry that you see it that way." Hobbes replied.

~*~

Hobbes walked into the Keep, looking around for Claire. He spotted her standing by her computer looking at information on the gland. "How is he?"

"I think he's doing better, but after what he went through yesterday, well... Bobby, honestly, what were you thinking? If you push him too hard he's not going to heal. He's already depressed, things like yesterday will only make it worse."

"I know, Claire." Hobbes replied, rubbing his eyes. He had had a long sleepless night, not only thinking about the fact that he had been a complete ass, but also that he had hurt his partner and pushed himself further away. "I just don't want him to give up hope."

Claire's eyes saddened, "It's kind of hard to give up hope when there isn't much to begin with in the first place."

Hobbes let out a sigh, wondering what he could do to make it better. Wondering if there actually was a way to do that at all. Claire seemed to read his thoughts.

"I know it's hard, Bobby, but right now I think the best thing for Darien is to be alone. He needs to think."

"Claire..."

"I'm serious, Bobby. Seeing you isn't going to do anything for him right now except make him more aggravated. You have to remember that every time he looks at you, he sees someone who can still walk. You were both in the same building, in the same line of fire, and even though you were injured too, he's the one who was scarred." Claire replied, placing her hand on Hobbes' shoulder. "He just needs time to adjust, I think the reality of it all is finally setting in with him."

Hobbes nodded, "I understand. I'll see you later, Claire." With that said, he left the Keep and went to find the Official for information on the case he was working on. If he couldn't try to help his friend, at least he could drown himself in work and forget about things for a few hours.

~*~

Alex walked into Lab 2 looking around the room; it was cold and dark. "You a vampire all of the sudden, Fawkes?" She asked, pulling up a chair.

Darien moved his head to look at her, "If you hadn't noticed, I'm not really able to turn up the heat in the condition I am in right now."

Alex walked over to one of the heaters which was down to 4 and turned to to 6, feeling a blast of heat hit her. "Well, that should take away the chill. Why didn't you ask someone to change it earlier?"

"I did." Darien replied, watching her as she walked over to the chair she had pulled up and sat down. "How do you think it got so cold in here? I think some of the people in this agency need to learn how to follow directions."

"You still cold?"

"Kinda, but I'm okay." Darien replied.

Alex stood up and covered Darien with a blanket that was by his feet. "How's that?"

"Better." Darien replied, after a pause he added, "Can I ask you something, Alex?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"What would you do if you were in my situation?" Darien asked, his eyes pleading with her for the answer he wanted.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Given the choice I have, and option in front of you, what would you do?"

Alex let out a sigh and thought about how to answer. Claire had informed her what had happened in the last 24 hours while she was away on a mission. "Darien, I'm not you. And this is a decision I think you really need to make on your own." She stood up, ready to leave, knowing that she hadn't given him the answer he wanted.

"Alex, please."

She looked at him, wishing it were easier, wishing she could just walk out right now and not hurt him. But she knew she couldn't do that, she had to say what she came here for, even if it did hurt him now, it would help in the long run. She hoped. "I'd do it, Darien. I'd have the surgery."

"You would?"

She nodded, "One of the reasons Claire hasn't been able to pull out the gland was because there is a risk that you would be paralyzed, so honestly, what do you have to lose?"

"What about the other risk?" Darien asked.

"Darien," She said, patting him on the shoulder, even though she knew he couldn't feel it, seeing her do it was enough. "The real question that needs to be asked here isn't whether or not you should have the gland removed, it's which are you scared of more? What is it, Darien?"

"What do you mean?"

Alex bit the bottom of her lip, than let the words spill out, "Are you having trouble with deciding on the surgery because you are afraid of dying, or is it actually that you are afraid of _living_'?" Her words cut him like a knife, but without saying anything more she turned around and walked out of the room.

TBC


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer and everything else that keeps me out of trouble is in chapter one. *Hands out Cherry Coke and some of her sister-in-laws freshly made sandwiches* Enjoy kiddies.

Sea of Glass 7/?

__

Are you having trouble with deciding on the surgery because you are afraid of dying, or is it actually that you are afraid of living?' Alex's words were still taunting Darien. Damnit, why did she have to say that? It wasn't a fair accusation, she had no idea what he was going through. But she had hit the spot, broken into his thoughts... He wasn't sure he had the will to live anymore. Closing his eyes, he let sleep and dreams take over him.

"So, you're back again?" Alex asked, leaning against- what Darien presumed- was a wall in the padded cell. She didn't look up to meet his eyes, instead she looked at the ground as if something important was there waiting to explain itself.

"I want to understand," Darien said, walking toward her.

"Excuse me?" 

"When you told me to fight. I want to understand what you meant."

"No, Darien, you can't ask me to tell you, and even if I did, it wouldn't matter now, you've already given up hope." Alex sighed, finally looking up, there were streaks on her cheeks and her eyes were puffy from crying.

"Alex, what's the matter?"

She turned into Hobbes, but it didn't bother Darien, he was getting use to the constant shape shifting or whatever it was this thing in front of him kept doing. "I can't help you anymore, Fawkes, you need to figure it out on your own."

"So what, you just gonna leave me stranded?"

"I'm not doing anything, you're the one who did this. You wouldn't listen, you shut yourself out, and now you're pushing yourself away from everyone who cares about you."

"Do you think it's true?" Darien asked. Now it was Arnaud staring back at him, and Darien fought the urge to take a step closer and try to strangle the Swiss miss mother...

"Do I think it's true that you are scared of living? Of course I do, you're a coward Fawkes. When things start to get tough you start to look for a way out. It really is quite pathetic."

Darien ran his hand through his hair, "Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because, you need to figure this out for yourself." It was Alex again, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked relaxed now, better then when he had first seen her. Her eyes weren't red rimmed anymore either, he noticed. "Darien, all the answers have been in front of you the whole time. You just aren't looking hard enough."

Darien couldn't explain it, but for some reason her words enraged him, "I'm paralyzed, what the hell am I supposed to be looking for, a walking stick?"

His sudden burst of anger hadn't seemed to faze Alex at all, instead she replied, "At least that would be a start."

"So what are you trying to say, that I will be able to walk again? In case you haven't noticed, it's bad. Real bad. They even want me to have the gland removed that way they can put it in someone who will be useful."

"So are you useless, Darien? Or do you only think you are?" Alex asked, tapping her foot on the padding below it.

"Enough with the damn riddles! Of course I'm useless, look at me!"

"I am looking at you, and what I see surprises me. You're bitter, so bitter you can't even see the truth. Take a moment, Darien. Look around you, what do you see?"

He turned and scanned the room; it was still the same, just the regular padded cell, the only thing missing, same as before, was the two way mirror. "Nothing. I see nothing."

"Ah," Alex said, "but you missed the most important thing." She walked toward him and placed her hand on his shoulder, "Darien, it's not the same in here. You can walk, and the gland doesn't work. I've told you why before, this is a dream and you're normal again."

"But why?" Darien asked.

"So you can understand." Alex replied, shaking her head. She was going in circles trying to explain something to him that he wasn't even trying to understand. "That's all I can say, you won't see me again. Like I said, you have to figure this out on your own now. Good luck." With that said she disappeared and Darien awoke.

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer and anything you might want to know about the fic like spoilers are in chapter one. Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy chapter eight. There's nothing like writing a chapter to an angst fic at 4:00am. This should get interesting.

Sea of Glass 8/?

Darien was back in the Keep and Claire had spent the last hour and a half running tests on him. Every time he got up the nerve to ask her the question he had been wondering all night he chickened out at the last second. Claire was probably annoyed with all his interruptions, but he couldn't help it. He needed to know the answer to his question. It had been two days since his outburst with Hobbes, and he hadn't seen him since.

Finally, he got up the nerve again, telling himself he wouldn't change his mind this time. "Umm, Claire, can I ask you something?"

She didn't look up from her computer at first, but when she did there was a look of exasperation on her face. "Oh bloody hell, Darien! Whatever it is your want to say just get it over with because if you bother me one more time you don't want to know what I'll do!"

"Wow, Keep, what a run on sentence." She replied by giving him a death glare. "I know that this might sound stupid, but have you heard from Hobbes?"

Claire bit the bottom of her lip and scooted her chair backwards. "Actually, now that you mention it, I haven't heard from him since yesterday morning. He's probably busy working though." Claire added the last part as if trying to make herself sound unconcerned, but in all reality, she was in fact very worried. It wasn't like Hobbes to drown himself in work and block everyone out. "Is that all you wanted, Darien?"

"Yeah,." Darien replied, wishing he could go find his partner. The door to the lab swished open and Alex walked in with an Agency flanky by her side.

"Darien, I need to talk to you in private, would you mind if we went somewhere else?" To Claire's surprise, and Alex's as well, Darien agreed and the flanky lifted him off of the demented dentist chair onto the wheelchair that Hobbes had taken him outside in two days before. After Darien was braced in, Alex dismissed the agency hand and wheeled Darien out into the hall. "Where do you want to go, my office?"

"No," Darien replied, surprising Alex yet once again, "what I want to do is find Hobbes, and I want to go wherever it is that I can find him at."

Alex waited until she and Darien were in a hallway out of the Keep before she replied. "Yeah, that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you. Fawkes, Hobbes didn't show up for work this morning... Eberts went to his apartment and it was a mess... I've called his cell and left messages, he won't return them..."

"Wait, what are you saying? You don't think something happened to him, do you?"

"No, I think he needed some time to himself, and I think he just decided it would be better if he just took off for a while."

"And not tell anyone? Alex, that's not like Hobbes."

Alex turned the chair toward her so she could look Darien in the eyes, . "I don't know if you've noticed, but no one is doing anything lately that they would normally do."

"Okay, so you have a point there. But if there's nothing you can do, why am I here? Why did you get me out of the Keep just to tell me this?"

"I want to take you somewhere, if you're willing. It's outside of the Agency... But I think it's something you need."

"Alex, I don't think I can..."

"Please." 

Her plea was so simple. So sincere. So innocent. She truly believed she could help him. It touched him deeply, even though he didn't want help. "Okay."

"Really?" Alex asked, conveying her shock.

"Yeah." Darien said, feeling a little queasy and wondering if he was going to regret this.

"Okay," Alex replied, nodding. She turned the wheelchair back around and headed toward the agency exit, pushing Darien's wheelchair along.

~*~

The warm sun shone on Darien; his head bounced off of the window when Alex hit another bump. His wheelchair was neatly folded in the back of her corvette. His hair was flying around in a frenzy due to the wind, and he thought it looked rather odd to have the windows up with the top of the car down, but Alex had insisted on it. He rested his head once again against the window once again and noticed that the car was slowing down. "Are we here?"

"Yes, we're here."

Darien scanned the scenery around him and was greeted by an ugly looking concrete slab that dropped off into the ocean. They were at some kind of beach but it looked like its population had died out years ago. There was no one in sight. Alex got out of the car, and reached to the back seat, pulling Darien's wheelchair out and unfolding it. Then she went to the passenger's side and once again shocked Darien with her strength as she lightly lifted him and set him in it. Sure, he wasn't a heavy guy, but with his length and just the fact that she didn't look as muscular as she proved to be, he was surprised. "So, what are we doing?"

Alex rolled the chair along the concrete until they got to the edge leading to the water and then set the brakes on it as she finally spoke. "You see, Darien, it's like a sea of glass. When you step out onto it you're not sure if it's gonna break or not. All you know is that you want to get the hell off of it... Most people step on it not knowing why, others get tossed onto it. But the fact of the matter is, when you're on it, it's up to you what you're going to do. It's up to you whether you're going to just stand there and let the glass crack and swallow you, or if you're going to try to get off of it. But you don't have to get off of it on your own. That's why you have friends."

TBC


End file.
